Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
