I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
