I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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