dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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