Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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