yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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