What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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