I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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