Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
