walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
