Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
