I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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