cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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