look no pants
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
