i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
