that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
