So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
