Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
