my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
