why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
