She's JV to your varsity
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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