idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
