Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
