Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is wine microwaveable?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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