Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
