she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
