We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
