gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
