doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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