Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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