she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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