We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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