Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
