I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
