he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
