We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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