I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
