I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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