After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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