I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
did you just send me my own nude
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
