I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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