I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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