Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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