Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
