Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
