She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
