guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just puked most of my soul out..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
