I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
