What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
