Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
