he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
