So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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