You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
