I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
