i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
