How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize