waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
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