lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I deserve this hangover.
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